Coming Wednesday January 10, 2018
A LOL adventure with murder, mayhem, angst and tons of laughs!! You’re going to love this book! Plus steam…holy shitake mushroom tons of steam! Scroll down for an exclusive snippet!
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What I get: Acting Queen duties and a giant mess.
Mom’s pregnant and, with some unforeseen complications, she hands the reigns of her land over to me. It’s got to be easy, right? Do what my mother needs done for the sake of the kingdom, wait for her to deliver the baby, and then I’m off to college.
Wrong, so very wrong. A murdered body left by a cold-blooded killer throws an uber wrench in my plans.
Now, I have extra security in the form of a hot, brooding shifter named Phoenix Winston, plus a super sexy alien human hybrid – the one and only Declan Moore.
I’ll either figure out what I’m doing or accidentally burn it all to the ground. Either way, my life just became interesting.
A small, plump woman, appearing to be around 35 years old, stands before me with a large pink pig on a leash next to her. “Your Highness,” she says dipping her knees in a curtsy.
Her amber eyes are sparkling with mischief and my spidey sense is tingling.
Wait, I have never had any kind of sixth sense before.
I’ve never been able to pick up what someone was feeling. Pride is flowing from this woman in waves, she’s exuding exoneration. Whatever she’s done, she believes was right and merited.
“This should be good,” Brooke speculates softly.
“What may I help you with today?” I ask.
“My husband thinks a woman’s place is in the home, cooking, and cleaning. He believes I shouldn’t have an opinion or a say in any matters involving our children. He thinks I’m to be seen and not heard. He’s under the delusion, it’s proper for a man to have an affair if his wife doesn’t obey and follow his rules,” she finishes holding tightly to the leash while the pig thrashes and squeals.
A headache begins to form from the loud screeching coming from the pig, “Ma’am, why have you brought that animal into the forum?” I whimper, covering one ear to block some of the noise.
“He’s registering his protest, my Queen,” she replies tugging hard on the lead causing the pig to choke.
“His protest, Madame? Why does this farm animal have a protest?”
“Because this is Harold, my husband,” she boasts.
My eyes move to the pig and back to the woman. I place my hand to my mouth to hide my smile, I need a second to compose myself and listening to Brooke’s twinkling laughter in my ear isn’t helping. Straightening my features so I can look the lady in the eye without busting out chuckling, I ask, “You turned your husband into a pig?”
“It seemed quite fitting, Highness. His beliefs were archaic,” she replies, her voice confident, convinced I’ll agree with her.
“Were you aware these were his beliefs when you wed and had children?”
“We’ve been married a very long time, don’t let my youthful appearance fool you. When we wed, women were meant to be in the home but that was decades ago and views on women have changed but Harold refuses to change with them. When he began having affairs, I decided he’d be better off as bacon.”
Birthday Witch (the first stand-alone in The Reigh Witch Chronicles) is on sale right now for 0.99 and FREE with KU!
About the Author:
Billie Dale lives in no-where middle earth. Lost in a small village in the Midwest with four kids, three animals and an amazing, word inspiring book boyfriend worthy husband.